i didn't go to school today. my sister and i talked til extremely late last night. tonnes of catching up. i caught up on lost sleep too. i woke up at 1.30 and went back to sleep at around 3.40 and woke up at 6. i've been such a pig. haha. i need to start studying. the plan of at least studying 2 hours a day ain't working. just no motivation at all. but, i don't wanna screw up, so i'm definitely going to do what i have to do.

i'm contemplating on buying some of my aunt's vintage stuff, like this old fendi bag. but, i'm not sure if it suits me, or if i'll wear it after i buy it. so yeah.

when i was _____ yesterday, i wrote this list.

things that puts a smile on my lips.
- seeing elliot playing his air guitar and making his voice high and screechy to make it sound like the guitar solo of his favorite queen's song.

- the great things HE does. miracles and stuff. ((:
- when he pecks me on the cheek and says that he loves me. and when i say he, i mean elliot.
-when nadine hugs me and says those 3 words, "i love you"
-thinking of all those dumb and crazy things all of us did/do/doing.
-XUAN FREDA WENDY!!!
-those sweet memories. ((:
- heart to heart with my sis.
- travelling.
- aimless long bus rides/train rides.

- long runs in the morning, exploring my estate.

- those childhood dreams and fantasies.
- thunderstorms.
- the sky. clouds, stars, sun, moon and all.
- sunrises // sunsets.
- bikes. riding on them, so on.
- my brother, marcus. his good side, i mean. the days where he piggy backs me, makes me laugh, teaching me how to cycle and rollerblade, tompanging, cycling around our estate, brainless banter, riding on his bike, esp at night, having fun in bed: telling jokes, stupid stories, talking all night.of course, this is when we were young, for those dimwits who think awry. him meeting my boyfriends, now exes, and grilling them! HAHA! that was fun! wrestling!!!childhood games, nights playing with fire, rockets, cycling, lanterns, playgrounds, and this one time when he saved up money for weeks just to buy me an ice cream pop, those multi coloured ones, with that lion on the wrapping. but, all this is in the past. except maybe for the bike rides.
- elliot telling me to be careful and not to get caught in the rain cause he just saw me eating tonnes of medication and vitamins.
- my great grandma, may she rest in peace.
- shopping sprees.
- mama.
- my gonggong and the coffeeshop. half boiled eggs and coffee in condense milk cans. and cause he stopped smoking after my bro and i persuaded him not to.
- june: gelare day,cooking and those crazyass plans we made!! btw, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!
- music and dancing! it's such a pity i gave up ballet, tap, chinese, modern, and the list goes on! HAHA. can you actually imagine me doing chinese dance? what a sight! haha.
- schemes nadine and i make.
- photography!
- art.
- thinking of you. ((:
- giving. ya know what they say bout the joy of giving. so true, but only to those people. and on certain occasions.

- dry british humor.

- baking, cooking...

- doing nice, fluff stuff.

- london.

-sunshine and beaches.

-
-

things that ruin it all.

- my parents.
-those hurtful, daggerstotheheart stuff they say.

- thoughtlessness.

- being stood up.

- pissing stuff.

- elliot ticking me off.
- nadine argueing, spying, stealing..

- unresonability.

- betrayed (okay, this word sounds super ah-lianish), cheated on.
- fooled.

- loneliness.

- being misjudged.

- failure.

-

-

-

ya know what. i don't know why some people can be dumb enough. i mean, i'm not a bloody hypocrite. i don't say one thing and do another. what kinda person do you think i am? what kinda person will that make me huh? please. well, i was such a fool. i thought i knew you well, HELL! i thought you knew me well enough. well, i was wrong. i don't need this kinda shit now. so, i'm just going to ignore everything. whatever.

and i will never touch those horrible stuff.

-

anyways,

i shouldn't think about this things now. i have stuff to look forward to.

firstly,

FREDA'S COMING BACK TOMORROW!!

i'm so bloody happy!! i have so much to tell! gosh, i have no idea where to begin!

secondly, WORLD CUP starts tomorrow! so much memories. HAHA.

thirdly, SCHOOL FINALLY CLOSES!! ((:

loves it!

haha

one thing tho, my brother is leaving for tekong tommorow. i guess, it's kinda sweet and sad at the same time. sweet sadness. if there is such a thing. i love him. i know that. but he can be such a bitch at most times. i don't know how i will feel. it will be wierd i guess, with him not argueing with me and not telling me to unlock the toilet door. i will definitely miss him. that's for sure. i'm not heartless.

manda;

every single day of my life.